How to Support Your Loved Ones with ADHD and Addictive Behaviours this Christmas

We all know someone who might drink a little too much at Christmas and jokingly describe themselves as “the life of the party.” Or perhaps a friend who places one bet too many at the Boxing Day Races and insists they’re simply “letting off steam.”

Coping with a loved one’s addictive behaviours can be extremely challenging at the best of times, and the festive season often heightens these difficulties with added expectations, stress, and social pressure. Whether it’s alcohol, drugs, gambling, or other compulsive behaviours, addiction within a family or friendship group can create significant tension, conflict, and emotional strain—especially when the person involved doesn’t recognise there is a problem.

It’s also important to acknowledge that some individuals may be more vulnerable to addictive behaviour due to underlying neurodevelopmental factors. For people with ADHD, traits such as impulsivity, sensation-seeking, difficulty with emotional regulation, and challenges in delaying gratification can increase the risk of substance use or addictive coping strategies. These behaviours are often attempts to manage discomfort, rather than deliberate choices to cause harm. Recognising the role ADHD can play may help families approach holiday challenges with greater empathy and understanding, while still maintaining healthy boundaries.

If you are facing these challenges, it is important to plan ahead and implement clear boundaries, expectations and a flexible plan. Read our practical strategies on how to cope and navigate a loved one’s addictive behaviours at Christmas.

1. Keep things short and paced

Long, chaotic holiday days can push an ADHD brain toward overwhelm and substance use. It often helps to plan shorter get-togethers with natural breaks, rather than an endless, unstructured day. A little rhythm gives everyone breathing room.

2. Do the meaningful parts early

Energy, patience, and self-control usually drop as the day goes on. If alcohol or other substances are likely to appear, protect what matters by doing it first (gifts, connection, photos) before things unravel.

3. Stay neutral when tensions rise

Shame or criticism can tip someone with ADHD into defensiveness or more using. Calm, brief, low-emotion responses reduce escalation. You don’t have to fix anything, sometimes stepping back is the most effective move.

4. Make stepping away normal

Sensory and emotional overload is inevitable. Build in small “outs” like a walk, quiet room, or early exit, and treat them as normal rather than dramatic. Breaks keep everyone from hitting a breaking point.

5. Use actions, not verbal promises

People with ADHD often mean well but can’t follow through under stress. Instead of relying on vows or arguments, decide what you will do if things get messy. Clear, predictable actions are calmer and less conflict-heavy than negotiations in the moment.

It isn’t easy coping with a loved one’s addictive behaviours, but it is possible to navigate the season with clear communication and taking time for yourself. Ensure this Christmas that you maintain the balance between supporting your addicted loved one and taking care of your own wellbeing. Celebrate small wins, keep track of the positives and approach conversations with curiosity, whilst still offering support.

If you or someone you know is struggling to cope with a loved one’s addictive behaviours this Christmas, don’t suffer alone. Reach out to us at Montrose Health Group for support. We are available to help you through this period of change and difficulty.