“It’s Not Just Struggling in School”: When Undiagnosed ADHD Masks a Deeper Need

It’s easy to miss. A child who seems “distracted.” A student who’s always forgetting their homework. A bright learner who just can’t seem to finish assignments. Too often, these signs are brushed aside as laziness, defiance, or immaturity. But for many children, what looks like a behavioural issue is actually undiagnosed ADHD. The cost of missing it is high.

When Brains Work Differently — But No One Notices

ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) is one of the most common neurodevelopmental differences in children, yet it's also one of the most misunderstood. While popular stereotypes tend to focus on fidgety, hyperactive boys, ADHD can present in subtle yet often invisible ways.

Children with ADHD may:

• Struggle to initiate tasks or shift between them

• Become overwhelmed by multi-step directions

• Daydream or zone out during lessons

• Appear “unmotivated” despite significant effort

• Experience intense emotions or meltdowns after school

In reality, they are often working twice as hard just to stay regulated, focused, and organised. It’s not a lack of intelligence or discipline — it’s a brain-based difference in executive function.

The Weight of Being Misunderstood

When a child’s ADHD goes unrecognised, school becomes a source of chronic stress. These students may internalise their difficulties, leading to feelings of shame, anxiety, and low self-worth. Over time, this emotional load can build into what some researchers now call “school-based trauma.”

Many families don’t realise their child may be struggling neurologically until things have already escalated — with school avoidance, behavior referrals, or a diagnosis of anxiety or depression.

The Masking Problem

Some students, especially girls or those with quieter presentations, become experts at masking — mimicking expected behaviours to get by, even when they’re overwhelmed inside. While masking can help a student avoid unwanted attention, it comes at a psychological cost. By the time struggles become visible, the child is often already burnt out.

Rethinking What “Struggle” Means

Too often, we treat executive function challenges as character flaws instead of what they really are: unmet support needs.

What can help:

• Comprehensive evaluations that explore neurodevelopmental profiles

• Classroom accommodations (like movement breaks, visual checklists, or extended time)

• A trauma-informed, neurodiversity-affirming approach from both teachers and parents

• Coaching and therapy to build self-awareness and self-compassion

  
  

Supporting the Whole Child

At Montrose, we believe that every child deserves to be seen for who they are — not just how they perform in a classroom. When children with ADHD are met with understanding we see them begin to thrive.

They need support, safety, and space to grow in ways that work for them. If you suspect your child may be struggling with undiagnosed ADHD, you’re not alone. Montrose is here to support you are your child every step of the way.

Call us on 01433 350 500 or email clinic@montrosehealthgroup.com to book in your child's ADHD appointment today.